PhD Graduation

 PhD Graduation

时间：2026年5月22日

今天趁着申请position的时机，搞了一个PhD diploma的copy。

几年的青春，就换来这么一张纸，除了感觉有些心酸，还有些荒唐。这张纸，传说中的最顶级的学位，却逃离不了现在失业的状况。

要说这几年学到了什么？well，我更想讨论的是，这几年失去了什么。

当国内的同学每天撸串、吃各种美食的时候，我只能流口水。想吃刀削面，想吃清汤饸饹，想吃炒饼丝，想吃凉面……

当其他同学到处出国旅游的时候，我只能眼睁睁地羡慕。因为这令人讨厌的签证系统，我没能去享受南美洲风情，加拿大的banff，巴拿马国家，欧洲，澳大利亚，新马泰，日韩，……在spirit还没有倒闭的时候，飞到坎昆，飞到Bahama，那么便宜的票价，我却无法游览。从atlanta到victoria, Canada那么便宜的spirit票价，因为签证，无法前往。

当然，美国的风景也不错，大大小小的国家公园也逛了很多。还有很多想去的地方，比如阿拉斯加，white montain，加州的一大堆国家公园，hawaii还没有深入游览，当然还有virgin islands等等。不过机票价格实在是太贵，再加上可怜的stipend，实在是抽不出钱来。也好在没有去，不然现在失业的时候估计要去shelter去food bank了，好在还能撑一段时间。

我试着保持阳光的心态，试着积极面对生活，试着在这样的情况下坚持一天读50篇文献，写proposal，申请job然后收到数不清的rejection。我原以为会有人value我的talent，没想到这个世界出奇的安静。即使我知道，只要我有一个position，我就能thrive，到目前也没有人给我这样的position。而这只是2026年，谁知道未来会不会更糟糕呢？

我还是把我博士论文里面的几段话摘出来，放在这里。有很多想说的，但不知道说什么。

Dedication：

To the courage to seek novelty where others see constraints, and to the unwavering belief in one’s own scientific conscience.

Acknowledgements：

（1）Like a stochastic process, an academic journey involves short-term volatility. What matters is sustaining a positive drift over the long run. （这句话也是我答辩slides最后一页上的话）

（2）The Ph.D. journey is never easy, but every effort eventually proves worthwhile. When struggling with derivations, contributions, and questions of novelty, I often doubted whether it was worth pursuing these challenges. However, each time I resolved a difficult problem and gained a deeper understanding of the field, I grew more confident in my ability and gradually developed a sense of expertise in the area.

（3）Ultimately, while many opened doors, it was my own hand that turned the key. I take pride in the diligence I brought to every derivation and the courage I found to engage with a foreign land and a new community. It was my own diligence that sought the nuances within every textbook and paper, and my own initiative that reached out to the broader academic community.

（4）A Ph.D. is only one chapter in an academic career. Ahead lie many more challenges: competitive job markets, publications, proposals, teaching, service, and outreach. Yet whenever I face difficulties, I can look back and appreciate the accomplishments I have already achieved. As long as I maintain confidence in my abilities and continue to put forth my best effort, I am certain that I will continue to thrive.

（5）Years from now, whether at sixty, after achieving tenure, or as a distinguished scholar, when I look back on this journey, I hope to remember not the struggles or sleepless nights, but the joy, growth, and accomplishments that came from overcoming them. Every challenge and setback will then feel like a necessary and rewarding part of the journey.

（6）Finally, to anyone reading these pages who may be navigating their own unforeseen challenges, I hope my journey offers some small measure of encouragement. There were times when the weight of external circumstances felt designed to discourage. In those hours, I learned that your worth is defined by the integrity of your work and the resilience of your spirit. Believe in yourself, even when the environment around you does not. Trust in your abilities, for they are the only foundation that cannot be taken away. Difficulties can be overcome, and you are truly capable of achieving more than you ever imagined in your most exhausted moments.

这些话已经被永远的存入论文库了，未来的人如果有机会还会读到这些。或许会有人读到，或许不会。不论如何，这就是2026年的现状，这就是我，或者其他人，正在经历的一切。

哦对了，在实验室门口散步，看到一只野猫还是什么动物，想走近仔细看看，不过它马上就跑掉了。美国的猫似乎都很害羞，都不主动上前让人抚摸。或许我应该带点食物猫条投喂？算了，自己都吃不饱，还喂什么猫？